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I'm impatient! Take me straight to the nicknames!


What's In A Name?
Mephistophicles, Phookik Protocol Consultant - May 2005

All, or at least most, people are given some kind of name when they are very small. Others choose names for themselves later on. All in all this presents a serious problem for the average wayfaring Phookik, however, because whether given by parent or chosen by self, the name will be something designed to stick in someone ELSE'S memory. It is a very tricky business remembering the names of dozens upon dozens of people all the time, and so the PNE has developed the practice of naming our associates as we see fit by names which are designed so that WE can remember them.

The important characteristics of a name vary from case to case. Sometimes it is a moniker based upon some trait or quirk that makes the person unique in our memories. Other times it is something that bears close relation to the name they choose to introduce themselves by, but which is easier for us to keep track of and associate with a face. Often it is a mingling of both of these.

The benefits of a Phookik Name are many. For one thing, it is utterly impossible for two people to earn the same Phookik nickname, thus there will never ever be any confusion about who it is we are referring to under any circumstances.  Except for Lawgiver, but these are our rules, we make them up.  For another, the name chosen for you will indubitably roll off the tongue and be very distinctive at large distances and high volume, important traits for any name to have. Also, it is worth mentioning the benefits of the implied affection of being granted a Phookik name. Even if we don't really like you, we at least respect you enough to give you a name. Not that a lack of a Phookik name implies any disrespect, it just means we haven't gotten to you yet. Or there is also the possibility that the name you give us in the first place was distinct enough that we appointed IT to be your Phookik name for the time being - so really, there's no telling!
So as to be of benefit to all Phookiks who come our direction and might need some assistance remembering the people here in and around Scarborough, the PNE happily would like to present to you this living and growing list of the Phookik Names we have designated for certain individuals hereabouts, or at least as many of them as we can remember at the moment, or future moments, whenever this list is maintained changed or... well anyway here it is:


Current Honored Denizens of Scarborough

with Proper Phookik Nicknames

Scary Lady


Blizzard Buzzard










Dog Breath


Miss Sniffs A Lot


Spiritual Advisor


Old Bum


Only Child


Great White

Fuzzy Death







Numsha (Blizzard Buzzard's wife)


Not a Nickname...

But Ohhhh....Ivy


Law Giver






Tour Guide


"Not a Squirrel"





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